optic neuritis multiple sclerosis – The #1 Presenting Symptom – Optic Neuritis
The first signs that something just wasn’t right with me came about in 1989, right after I graduated from high school. It was my first year of college and I was 18 years old. I was young, confident, and naïve you could say. Nothing was wrong, not with me. But when I became totally blind in my left eye bad thoughts started to race through my mind.
My parents at the time owned an accounting firm and we had some 900 clients, one of which was diagnosed with a brain tumor and considered steps away from death.
Thinking about this client is all I did, “what if I had a brain tumor?” I’ll be dead soon.
Panicked that my young life was coming to an end, I finally made an appointment to see the neurologist to discover a huge weight was going to be taken off my shoulders. “You have Optic Neuritis”. My comment was, “that’s all? I thought I was dying of a brain tumor.
Little did I realize what I really had was, Multiple Sclerosis.
Several months later I regained my eyesight back to normal vision, but this was not the end. Not by a long shot.
Nine years later I again had another episode which in turn “permanently” affected my eye site. I was no longer going to be that young, confident, pompous kid running around with a dumb eye patch. I was in turn going to be transformed into an angry, insecure adult with complete insecurity and uncertainly as to what path I was on.
I’m sure a lot of you with optic neuritis /Multiple Sclerosis can relate.
During a period of 7 months I “knew” that my eyesight wasn’t all to hot. There were just a lot of things I normally didn’t see, and objects looked a lot more fuzzy and gray and color wasn’t as clear and crisp as it was before.
But I would still keep saying to my wife Christine, yes I’m ok to drive.
Yeah, I’m ok to drive. Saying this over and over again convincing myself everything was ok.
Until I got into a car accident, and then another one, and than the third and final.
Ok, maybe driving wasn’t for me.
The third and final car accident in my little white Honda Civic pushed me right over the edge of the Multiple Sclerosis cliff. Maybe she was right, maybe they were right. Good God, I couldn’t drive. How was I going to get to work? How was I going to live my life? Was I going to turn into a granny on the bus knitting a blanket?
My wife Christine and parents concluded that I was no longer competent in driving. And I sadly agreed.
What were the reasons for the car accidents you wonder?
My last and final car accident was not seeing the color of the light changing at the intersection. I went through a red light not realizing it was really red. My error caused me to be side swiped by another car going through the intersection.
This event my friends was the final determinant and last nail in the coffin regarding my issues with optic neuritis.
Optic Neuritis is one of my pronounced symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis. It’s the one that been the challenge for me mentally and physically. At the age of 34 I had to give up all my independance and ability to drive for the safety of myself and others. My solution for transportation is taking the Wisconsin Coach Line Bus to and from the office which let’s me off approximately .7 miles from work. At that point I have the choice to walk or take a connector bus.
So how do I feel about all of this you wonder?
I’ve accepted this choice, but honestly it’s taken me 3 years to do so. I was angry at my self and my wife for feeling relieved that she no longer had to worry about me driving any more. I thought how she dare be happy that I’m stuck and confined to this stupid bus. But understandably, she was happy that I wasn’t going to kill myself in my little white Honda.
I have a choice to be angry or to live my life. And I’ve chosen to live my life gratefully for all that I’ve been given by the Lord. I have received much, especially a family who loves me and cares for my safety and that’s how I look at it.
Robert Groth author, blogger, and advocate for reclaiming your life from multiple sclerosis. Get his free book at http://www.ConquerMS.com
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